Colonel Ingus

True facts about today's new computer users:

Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the increasing flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The 'cover' turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.

Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her efective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends,"the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day.

Another technician received a call from a customer who was extremely angry because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on the foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

Azhria Lilu

LOL there was a time when I'd have laughed and disbelieved most of them... then I worked on a computer help desk for a while and got calls like that. I got numerous broken cup holder calls

My favourite was a guy who called to say no matter what he did his computer wouldn't come on. I asked him about all sorts... fuse, plug switches.. etc.. then said to him okay uplug all the cables and then reconnect them all.... he said it might take him a little while because it was dark. I asked him if he could switch a light on while he did it.... he responded by telling me there'd been a powercut so he couldn't..............

Azh

You can also find me at Azhrialilu.com and It's a Bitch Thing
Please do not use my IM details for support questions - refusal often offends

Colonel Ingus

Yeah those BIOS batteries don't last long when they have to power the entire computer and monitor

Once I was showing my mother something on the computer and all of a sudden she ran away and came back with a fly swatter. I looked at her and asked her what she was doing. She told me that it was for the fly that she saw on my computer.

The 'fly' turned out to be the cursor moving around on the screen

Boston®

Some of those are hilarious. Obviously fairly old, but they're still funny nonetheless. Great share!

z|x

hehe I pity those who work for Customer Service lol

Azhria Lilu

It had its amusing moments

Azh

You can also find me at Azhrialilu.com and It's a Bitch Thing
Please do not use my IM details for support questions - refusal often offends

Colonel Ingus

I used to manage a major retail store. On my way into work each day I would always stop in a local bakery, and buy a special treat like a German Chocolate cake, Cheese Danish, those big oversized chocolate chip cookies, ETC. It always varied, and I would give them only to the employees who worked the customer service dept.

If you ever want to lose faith in the human race then just work customer service for a few weeks What you'll find is that the most rude and uneducated people always seem to be attracted to going to customer service, many of them con artist. That's why I would buy those special treats (out of my own pocket) for all the employees who had to deal with them.